Silver Lining
by noodleflavor
Summary: It was just a simple choice. "We want to ask you, do you want to be stay here and die pitifully as an exorcist? Or do you want to come with us and make your decision later?" And Allen knew the answer from the very start. Noah!Allen AU. Road x Allen, One-side Lenalee x Allen. (Rewriting)
1. Chapter 1

**one**

As soon as Allen Walker stepped foot into the metal gates of the headquarters, he knew what his purpose was. It was something that was branded at the back of his mind the moment he was born in the world.

He's an exorcist.

For quite a long time he thought that everything was peaceful, he found friends that accepted him for who he is, he found people that trusted him the same way he trusted them. He felt happy.

But in a blink of an eye, everything was taken away from him.

His happiness was dragged away from him, pushing him back to the hell he once knew.

It was obviously simple that he would never betray his friends, he'll do everything to protect his friends. Even if it means, sacrificing himself and his happiness just for them. It may sound stupid to ignore yourself just or the sake of others but that's him. That's Allen Walker. Why would he lie to himself?

But then despite every single thing he ever did for the sake of his _friends,_ they left him here. Rotting and suffering in this miserable dungeon. The word 'f _riends_ ' left a bad taste in his mouth. He ignored it though, he know he's Noah and of course he deserves to be here.

Thousands of thoughts crossed his mind, from his _friends'_ safety to his own death. It was awfully lonely and quite just sitting in here. Usually he just sits down and hope that someone will save him and let him out his misery. But still… He deserved this misery, doesn't he?

Allen carefully touched the small cross at the side of his forehead, cringing at the pain. He looked at his fingers, the red liquid dripped down his fingers. It was painful, for a second there, he felt something clawing in his mind… something mundane. Wanting to take over him and change him. The memories of the 14th lingering at the back of his mind. For a while he felt that he wasn't human, hatred bubbling in his core. But then he's human… isn't he?

He looked over to his side and frowned at Link's serious expression "Hm?" Allen asked, he couldn't find the right words to say because confusion filled his mind stuffed cotton. Link's lips twitched at side "One stigma has already appeared, Walker." His voice was stern but Allen saw a bit of worry in his eyes.

Allen knew of course, he can feel it burning on his skin. He can hear thoughts that doesn't belong to him, unknown feelings mixing up inside of him. It was unavoidable. Sooner or later he'll be turned into a Noah and wouldn't be Allen Walker anymore. He have to make sure that he'll be dead by then.

"The future is imminent, even if I tried to stop the 14th it will still be the same."

His tone was bitter as he held back the black bile spreading over his tongue like sweet honey.

Link made a look "Are you giving up on us?" His hands grabbed Allen's collar "I've been observing you for months, Allen Walker and I know that you wouldn't be such a coward to let the 14th take over. That isn't the Allen Walker I know."

" _Maybe I'm the Allen Walker you know anymore_ "

….What?

What did he just say? Those words slipped out of his mouth because it felt so _right_ to say it. But why? Why would he say such a thing? It was horrible and he never thought he could say such words. Link lightened his grip on Allen until he completely let go, Allen almost wanted to take back what he just said but no words came out anymore.

Link stood up from the cold floor and glared at Allen. Without even saying a word he left the room and slammed the metal door angrily. Allen stifled a laugh even though there was nothing to laugh about, all he felt was…

Oh. It was cold, he never realized how cold the floor was until Link left the room. His stomach twisted painfully because he suddenly feel dizzy. His heart raced and cold sweat dripped from the side of his forehead, he took a sharp breath in and his sides automatically felt like it was stabbed.

"W-what?" Blood filled his mouth and he could feel the warm, metallic liquid down the side of his lips. His eyes frantically searched around the room, the way he is now he knew that he can't even reach the door.

Then he heard a loud noise he flinched because the sound made his head throb even more. Then hurried footsteps was heard from outside his cell "Walker! There's a lot of akuma around, we need to—" he was cut off by a soft laughter. His eyes narrowed before something… no someone threw him across the room. Link slumped on the floor and Allen could see blood pooling at the side of his head. Something floated behind Link and Allen's blood ran cold.

Akuma.

His eyes didn't activate and he can't even use his innocence. How useless. The Akuma seems to stare at Allen for a few seconds before ignoring him and moved away.

"Allen~ We are really sorry for coming this late!" Road Kamelot jumped out of her heart shaped door, her hands wrapping around Allen's neck. Allen didn't move and he couldn't even think straight, his breathing was shallow and his head shook with pain. What more could he even do? 

Her hug on him was light, as if she knew that even her touch could add up to his pain. He let the petite Noah hug him "R-Road." He didn't realize that he unconsciously wrapped his arm around the Noah. She was warm and Allen could smell sweet licorice from her "Road." He muttered more loudly making her look up "Hmm? Did you really need us that much to rescue you?" A sly smile formed across her lips and Allen saw something twinkle in her golden eyes.

Wait… We? 

"Yo! You look horrible, boy" Tyki Mikk greeted behind Road, he didn't notice the other Noah behind Road. His comment made Allen chuckle but it turned out to be a cough that made him spit out blood.

"Get away from her!"

Allen whipped his head to find two familiar exorcists standing in the door way, Lenalee and Lavi. Their innocence was activated and judging by the wounds and scratches on their body, the just fought the akuma that was once outside his cell.

"Lenalee, watch Allen and I'll move Link to a sa-" Lavi stopped talking when Tyki's tease passed through his shoulders "Are you serious? You think we'll let you go after we take Allen?" Tyki's smirk was sinister and Allen could feel a murderous aura surrounding him.

Lavi let out a stifled scream "No… I know you're going to fight…but our first priority is Allen" his right arm slumped and he held his hammer only with his left. Road let go of Allen and stood up "Sorry but were taking him" before he could even realize, he was dragged into Road's door.

His head is fuzzy that he can't even notice his surroundings, he can't move due to the pain that ached his body "L-let me go" he screamed and Road did. He fell on the grass with a loud thud and he yelped at the sudden pain on his back.

"We're kind of far from the exorcists now… and I'm pretty sure that they won't reach us here because of all the akuma around" Tyki added and helped Allen up… Timcanpy behind him. The golem is still gigantic and Allen doesn't want to know how they dragged him here.

"We need to talk, boy"

Allen flinched at the way Tyki said each word, it was simple that the Noah is serious and angry. Road looked the same way too "They hurt you, don't they?" her fingers pointing at the fresh wounds on Allen's back.

Allen doesn't want to answer because if he did, he'll be ruining the name of The Order. He bowed his head and didn't reply instead he asked "Why did you help me?" his words was soft and filled with unknown emotions. Why would the Noah _still_ help him? He already said 'No' but they keep coming back and helping him. They're as stubborn as exorcists.

Road looked at him as if the answer to that question was in front of him "Because were family." She smiled wrapped her arm around Tyki "It's obvious that we can't let one of us die." She said the words so clearly that Allen felt his heart lighten. As if all the burden was taken away from him.

"Seriously, Allen. How long will it take for that to go through your thick skull?" Tyki sighed casually as if they talked about this topic many times. Allen ignored him and looked behind, he could see smoke puffing up the sky and he could here slight gun shots from The Headquarters. "That's not true. I'm not a Noah" he mumbled and Road puffed out her cheeks "Jeez. If we keep this conversation going, we'll be running circles." She then opened a door. It was the same, heart-shaped and checkered door but it felt… different.

"We want to ask you, do you want to be stay here and die pitifully as an exorcist? Or do you want to come with us and make your decision later?" Road held out her hand and Allen knew what to do. He answered in such a low whisper just to make sure that only the Noahs would hear him.

"I'll come."

Road smiled and pressed her lips unto Allen. How long has she waited for this moment? Allen could taste sweet candy and his own blood when their lips met. He didn't get the chance to struggle because his vision went blank and the darkness filled his head once again.

Road Kamelot stares curiously at Allen's sleeping body, her golden eyes scanning every single detail of his body. Her eyes reflected worry as she saw the whip marks on his body… but she have to admit... it was rather appealing. Allen shifted slightly, his breathing was shallow and his body twitched with his every movement.

Tyki who was beside her, frowned at Road's gaze to Allen "Hey, you might wake him up." Tyki muttered, Rhode whipped her head and bit her lips "I'm giving him good dreams." she said simply and looked back to Allen. Tyki cocked his head to the side before letting out a sigh "You better take care of him, the Earl will be mad if you don't" he then walked to the door and closed it slowly as he walks out.

Road let out a childish squeal before snuggling against Allen's chest and giggles. His eyes snapped open as he scanned his surroundings slowly, it took him a few seconds before he sat up and moved slightly away from Road. His vision was slightly blurry but he knew that he recognized the appearance of the Noah.

She had a huge smile etched at her face, it was almost impossible to smile that big. Allen tried to let out a yelp but it ended up as a cough, blood trickled at the side of his lips and dripped unto his fingers.

"Ehh? Allen-kun you shouldn't push yourself too much." Road mumbled before taking a small handkerchief and wiped the blood off Allen's face. It surprised him, at how gentle Road's action at him. He then smiled a little bit "Thank you." he said, it was noticeable at how Road suddenly blushed and giggled at his comment. He didn't mind the Noah beside him, he tried to get off the bed but his body refused. Everything felt heavy and loose, he grunts and sat back the bed.

His arm didn't cooperate either it won't even move a single inch but it stings slightly. He carefully touched his forehead and as he expected pain flared. Road was looking a little bit worried looking at his innocence "Maybe we should cut it off?" she suggested.

Like instinct Allen covered his arm "W-what? No!" he clutched on his arm tightly, while glaring at Road. What kind of suggestion is that?! Road chuckled in response "I'm just joking, Allen… Even if we did it'll regenerate right away." her tone was as innocent as ever but her words had a different meaning.

He didn't reply. He don't even know what to do.

He wanted to run away and escape but he can't even go back to the order due to the fact that he is a Noah and they'll probably hunt him down.

He kept quiet for a few minutes, staring at the ceiling of the room. Road didn't seem to disturb him but she held unto his hands squeezing it slightly.

For what seems like forever, he reflected.

He felt the pain that wasn't there, the faint trace of his experiences, the cold knife dragging across his skin, the prickling pain of the whip and the screams that'll never leave his ears. It was marked forever on his skin and mind. Nothing will ever remove it.

It was pathetic.

He's useless.

His existence is pure nothingness and it hurts.

It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts.

That he found it so funny. He should be used to all the pain by now, the feeling of numbness has always been his escape from the pain. But why does it still hurts?

His eyes stung and everything was so misty and blurry.

It hurts.

Hurts.

 **HURTS.**

 **Hurts.**

His whole world was shaking uncontrollably. 

"ALLEN?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING S-STOP IT!" Road's words snapped him back to the reality he hated so much. Her eyes was glimmering with tears, He blinks for a few second before realizing that he's scratching his head so much that blood was stained in his finger nails. A few strands of his hair on his hand and face.

He blinks again. "I-I-it's painful…B-but I can't feel the same way as before—I'm scared…" He trailed off

"I'm…scared."

He repeated those words like mantra, Road looking at him in confusion. She didn't expect Allen to be like this. Allen was never like this.

The order did this to him.

She felt her blood boil, anger flowing in her system and her fingers shaking uncontrollably "A-Allen, let's sleep and you'll be fine" she smiles and hugs the boy beside her.

Allen shook his head "R-Road… Please please please I'm scared, Road…." Road smiles again and pressed her lips on his forehead "Goodnight."

Just like always, he felt darkness overcome him.

 **END**


	2. Chapter 2

**two**

Allen Walker wiped the drool at the side of his mouth, he jolted awake in the middle of the night and going back to sleep again is harder than he thought. His head is still throbbing painfully and he can feel tears lingering at the side of his eyes. He looked around the room, it was plain and white but the one thing he loved was the gigantic window that was near his bedside, it showed the moonlight that illuminated the dark room. Its silky white curtains flowing a little bit at the breeze that was coming in from the small opening of the window.

Road was sitting at a chair beside his bed, her head resting over his bed. He smiles and wrapped the thick blanket around her.

Allen closed his eyes, he doesn't feel sleepy. In fact, all he did these past days was sleep. But it was horrible, every time he closed his eyes and every time he drifts… there was something whispering in his ears. Wanting him to do something that he knew he can't.

But now he was peaceful, his dreams was quiet and calm. He can't even remember the last time he felt like this, the missions he had before was stressful and tiring. Resting isn't an option.

He shakily stood up from the bed and flinched as soon his barefoot touched the cold marble floor. He walked over the window slowly and carefully, each steps he took on the floor felt like ice prickling his toes. He hasn't seen the moon and the stars for a long time and it felt so...new. He raised his fingers to touch his forehead and felt another stigma marked itself on his skin. He wasn't surprised of what he felt. He knew that soon he'll be turning into a Noah and he hoped it won't be now. His friends will still save him… right? 

A part of him knew that it was just a sugarcoated lie that he was foolishly believing in. Yet, it was his only hope… the last bit of hope that he was clinging unto. He doesn't want to be a Noah because he knew that the moment he lets himself be consumed. He wouldn't be Allen Walker anymore.

Hundreds of questions came into his minds like snapshots flashing images he doesn't want to see. Allen shook his head, thinking about stuff like this will only give him more headache. He decided to walk out of the room, carefully not waking up the Noah sleeping who was sleeping soundlessly.

The hallway was beautiful itself, red roses was placed on vases with intricate golden patterns. The walls were covered with patterns gently painted on it, paintings framed with gold were hung on the wall. His footsteps echoed around the hallway but he didn't mind it.

He spotted the balcony and thought of taking in some fresh air until he saw a familiar figure sitting at one of the chairs. He paused and turned to his back before he-

"Ah! It's nice to see you, Allen."

He mentally cursed before facing the Earl and letting out a nervous laugh "A-Aha… I didn't see you there." He shakily scratched the back of his neck with a forced smile on his face. The Earl let out a loud laugh "Don't lie to me silly boy! Come, let's drink some tea." The Earl gestured his hands for Allen to sit beside him.

Allen, knowing that he can't get himself out of this situation walked over beside the plump man and sat beside him, shifting uncomfortably.

"So, How are you feeling, Allen?" The Earl asked him, his glasses glazed under the dim moonlight. Allen froze, he didn't want to talk but the man's tone sounded so genuine… he slowly took the teapot and pours the hot tea to a cup "…I don't feel well, actually." He bit his tongue as he shakily placed the pot back to the glass table.

The Earl chuckled "You're awfully honest." Allen didn't reply, instead he took the cup to his hands and took a sip of the warm tea. Feeling the warm liquid slide down his throat soothingly, it tastes too sweet for him. He made a face but tried to hide him from The Earl.

"Oh. I'm really sorry, Allen. I'm still not used of not having Skinn around, he usually drinks tea with me… So I make sure to put as much sugar to my tea." Allen watched The Earl babble over the overly sweet tea "Uhh… I don't really mind... Umm…"

The Earl then faced him "Ahem. I got a little emotional there." Allen nodded his head and took another sip of the tea, not minding the sugary taste "It's…umm…fine. I guess?" The Earl seems to be quiet for a few seconds before he spoke "Did the order do anything to you, Allen?"

That was a question he wished to avoid, he doesn't want to believe that The Order… his _home_ could do such horrible things. He stared blankly at his half empty cup, his reflection rippled on the copper liquid.

The truth he once believed in was a lie.

There has to be a reason. Why The Order could do such things? Is it because he's a Noah? But he's still not a Noah. He was trying so hard to keep the 14th away from his mind because he doesn't want to betray his _home_. If he did… he can't imagine the faces of Lenalee, Lavi and Kanda looking at him with such… disgust.

But why would he even care? Why would he even try if they're just going to trash him out?

They're just filthy exorcists who pollute this world like garbage.

"…Llen? Allen?"

…Wait. For a second he felt his blood boil. He swore he felt hatred against his friends… but why would he? How could he hate the sweet and precious Lenalee? The strong Lavi and Kanda? How could he hate the persons he trust the most?

"I see… you don't want to tell me yet. Its fine, we could about this later." The Earl sighed and Allen could hear a hint of disappointment in his voice. And it made his heart drop a little bit.

He's an exorcist. They are the Noah and they should be enemies.

How hard is that to understand? Yet, the Noah didn't hate him. They didn't look at him with such malicious eyes.

A loud sound of shattering glass broke the peaceful silence.

"I'm not a Noah!" he nearly screamed when he dropped the fragile glass on the floor.

The Earl casually sips his tea, looking at the mess on the floor with that smile still plastered on his face "What do you mean, Allen?" he asked.

"I-I'm an exorcist… I'm an enemy… y-yet you…" he was crying, his voice felt so weak and dry. He doesn't know what to say anymore.

"My, seems like the order did very horrible things to you. They messed with your head, didn't they?" Earl spoke with so much malice that Allen felt his spine shiver. "Is it because they told you that you're their comrade yet they threw you away the moment they found out you're a Noah?"

 _No…Please don't say it._

 _Don't say it._

 _Let me hear the truth._

 _I don't want to hear it._

 _Don't say it._

 _Please! Save me from the lies._

"You hate them, don't you?"

Allen screams. He didn't know how loud or how horrified he sounded. He fell to his knees and cried, the tears in his eyes felt like hot lava trailing down the side of his face. Each drop of saliva felt like acid burning his mouth and throat. His body felt like it was being twisted slowly, bones breaking inch by inch.

The Earl walked calmly to Allen and cradled the crying teen into his arms, hugging him. Allen wrapped his arms around The Earl, sobbing and mumbling inaudible words.

"….Please…Mana…Mana… I can't take this anymore… I-I want to go h-home."

 _Home._

The word felt so alien. As if the word never existed…

Where is his home?

"I want to go home… Please…"

The Earl looked at Allen "You are home, Allen." He placed his hands to brush the teen's white hair "Because we are family, Allen."

Allen woke up in the same familiar room, a groan escaped his lips and he covered his eyes from the sun's brightness. The smell of cigarette filled his nose, he clicked his tongue in annoyance "Oh! You're awake!" Tyki blew the smoke making Allen cough "Ugh. Stop doing that." He mumbled as he sat up the bed.

He frowned, his body was sore all over. He must have slept a lot, it's probably noon by now "How long have I been sleeping?" he asked and pulled back his hair a little bit. Tyki stiffened "A-aren't you hungry?" he asked, he seem to move anxiously "I-It's kind of later."

Allen immediately ran to the mirror, he didn't want this to happen… four stigmas were already marked on his forehead and Allen knew there is no turning back. He's already turning into a Noah even if he wants it or not. His eyes weren't the same shade of purple anymore, instead it was bright gold. Like the color of sun, burning and it truly stands out. His eyes contrasted with his pale skin and white hair.

He stumbled back in shock, fear building up the back of his mind. Because right now he knows everything, all of the events from the past came flooding in his mind like a vivid, unforgettable dream. He already has the 14th's memory and the only part left is for his body to be fully adjusted into a Noah. But why it is so fast? How could he transform so fast?

He growled angrily at Tyki "How long have I been sleeping?" his hands touched his stigma but he was surprised to find that it doesn't hurt anymore. The taller Noah sighed "'Calm down. It's only been a week." Tyki said those words as if it wasn't such a big deal.

"Adam. Where's Adam?" Allen asked, he doesn't know why he called The Earl 'Adam' but the words just slipped out of his tongue. It was like instinct, he knew the things but a part of him rejects it. Tyki shrugged "I'll call him for you." He walked out of the room and dropped his lit cigarette on the floor.

Allen scrunched up his nose and took the cigarette from the floor before throwing it outside the window.

"Good afternoon, Allen-kun."

Allen whipped his head to find The Earl standing at his doorway with Tyki smirking behind him. The Earl's arms were spread wide and that damned smile is still plastered on his face "A-Adam." Allen's hear nearly exploded, his gut twisted in knots with unknown emotions.

The pudgy man tilted his head to the side "Huh?" he asked but Allen could see something behind his glasses.

"N-Neah called you that, right?"

Tyki scoffed behind The Earl "Your topics are becoming… more personal. I'm sure you don't want me to hear you guys." He gave Allen a smile before turning around "Oh! Tyki, tell our maids to bring Allen his breakfast." The Earl said to the Noah who already started to walk "Hm… Sure…" he mumbled something before phasing through a wall and disappearing completely.

Allen stared blankly for a few seconds before approaching The Earl and wrapping his arms around him, much to older man's surprise. There was something seeping inside him, something bitter boiling inside his heart. His hands shakily raised to touch The Earl's face gently… Then he smiled "…Mana…"

The older man gasped and hugged the white haired teen tightly with his chubby arms. This is it. He's finally winning, the 14th will be back at his side and at long last the Noah family would be complete. Happiness filled him, the sensation was creeping up his throat and bubbling inside his core.

He doesn't want to waste time, he finally found the opportunity to tell this poor boy the truth and save him from the lies; all those exorcists imprisoned him. He'll set him free and their one true goal would be fulfilled.

He chuckled "Fix yourself first, Allen. Then we'll talk at breakfast," he gently pulled back from the hug and pats Allen head.

Allen seems to let out an annoyed grunt "Fine." He mumbled.

"Hello~ Allen!"

Road wrapped her arms around the eating teen besides her. Allen didn't mind her and continued eating his breakfast… The Earl on the other hand sat beside his bed, an umbrella placed neatly on his lap.

"You seem to be a lot calmer now."

The Earl chuckled and it made Allen almost choke on his food, he coughed slightly "W-what?" he asked. Road giggled and loosened her hug from Allen "You were a mess when you first came here, you couldn't even think straight." She then proceeded to grab the golem from the Earl's lap and shoved… no… threw it outside the window. Then sat on the chubby man's lap "Right, Millenie?"

Allen frowned "A w-wreck? You kidnapped me!" he exclaimed and crossed his arms angrily. He took the mug filled with hot coffee and drank half of it, not even feeling the hot liquid sliding down his throat.

"If you stayed there, do you think you'll be alive? Do you think you'll survive your own thoughts? The pain of your Noah transformation? The pain of being betrayed? I don't think you will, Allen. Pain may not mean anything to you but the suffering of knowing that your beloved exorcist friends turned their backs on you and just left you to shrivel up and die… You might even ended up destroying yourself."

Allen flinched at the harsh words that were spat directly at his face but he didn't want his friends to get involved in this. He knew that his friends didn't betray him… they did what an exorcist should do.

…He's an exorcist too and he should do his duty.

"My friends didn't betray me." Allen's shoulder slumped as he said those words. Road knew that it was just an obvious lie that he keeps telling himself. His tone was plain and bland as if he rehearsed those lines a few times. Road would have liked it if he yelled and screamed because that seems like a more reasonable reaction… but Allen didn't. All he did was said meaningless words that doesn't even belong to him.

"I know they wouldn't." He swallowed, trying to find the right words but it seems to be missing "They did their duty because they don't want to be in the same situation as I am." He wanted to add more but he can't think of anything to say.

"Stop lying. You hate them, Allen. It's normal because it's part of our Noah genes to hate humans." The Earl said sternly but his tone reflected worry "Please stop lying to yourself."

"I'm not." He protested, his eyes brimming with tears "P-Please… I'm not a Noah…yet. They will s-save me." His voice cracked at the each word. Road's lips curved into a frown when he saw Allen's tears "…Allen."

"Humans? Saving you?" The Earl erupted into a loud fits of laughter "You think those exorcists will save you? Humans are lower creatures than us, their lives don't mean anything. Exorcists are just trash that hinders us from our goal. I think you already know that, don't you?"

He knew that he's winning against those exorcists. He'll have the 14th by his side.

Road grinned "You already have the 14th's memory." Her tone drips with pounds of sugar and her smile didn't match her tone.

Allen's expression changed and his lips twitched "Don't… I-I…" he was cut off when The Earl spoke "Stay with us, Allen. We are your true family."

Allen's head spun in confusion and their words filled his head like stuffed cotton. They're lying…right?

Of course they are. Why would he even believe them? They're enemies. Yet, he doubts his decision because he can't even distinguish what's right or what's wrong. Or if it is his thoughts or the 14th's thoughts.

Then he sputtered out a choked laugh, earning a look from the two Noah "Ha-A-Aha… even laughing seems to hurt now. Do you really think you can renew this broken world?"" he snapped and looked directly at The Earl.

He has to know why. He needs a reason… or else he'll just turn into a mindless puppet. He needs answers.

"Yes." The Earl answered him so simply that it made him almost want to slap himself. His eyes narrowed, waiting eagerly for the man to continue "Of course we do. After we wipe this world of innocence, the three nights of darkness will decide for us." Road nodded in agreement.

"Noah and exorcist. You both have the same goal, the two sides of the same coin. So why bother?" He asked once more. These are unanswered questions that Allen wanted to know since the time he became an exorcist.

Road snickered and looked at The Earl, waiting for him to answer.

"Well, do you think those filthy exorcists can change the world? They're the same kind as those who pollute this world. They're humans." He replied to Allen. The teen seemed to blank out for a few seconds before blinking.

The Earl couldn't help but feel giddy he can't surpass the happiness that was welling inside of him. He got it. Allen Walker is already at his side and nothing could ever change that. It was obvious. The new Noah already realized it with the help of his new memories. He already found out his purpose.

"Oh." Allen said blankly, his face contorted into confusion before shaking his head "I might betray you…"  
That's the time when he almost wanted to jump from his chair and dancing in pure joy, The Earl could feel Road's excitement and the huge goofy smile on her face shows it all.

"No you wouldn't, silly boy!" He replied giddily.

Allen slowly touched his forehead and felt the raised stigma on his skin before looking at Road. Her smile grew wider, almost impossible big "What do you say, Allen?" she dragged his name sweetly when she spoke.

Allen knew the answer already. He knew. Road knew.

And he knew and she knew.

"I...I… A-Allen Walker, swear my loyalty to the Noah Family"

 **END**

 **Next Chapter: The Order searches for Allen.**

 **Allen tries his best to fit in the Noah. Keyword: Tries**

 **Author's Note:**

 **For those who read my story, thank you! I promised I'll try my best to finish this story. Updates will be every Wednesday and Sunday.**

 **Please Review so that I'll find motivation to update ^^**

 **Thanks everyone!**

 **Bye!**


	3. Chapter 3

**three**

Road hummed happily as she twisted the umbrella in her hand, her heeled shoes stepping over the nicely grown roses "Mistress R-Road… you're ruining the garden ~Lero!" the golem exclaimed. The Noah of Dreams giggled "But, Lero! I'm just so happy!" she raised the umbrella and started bashing the roses on the ground, her foot stomping in a fast rhythm.

Lero babbled over as the Noah walks on the roses, leaving a messy trail behind her path.

Who wouldn't be happy? Her beloved Allen finally came to their side. They saved him from the useless Order! That's something to celebrate about. She loves Allen and she can't wait for him to love her back.

Though, despite the happiness there was something seeping inside her, a dark swirling emotion that she couldn't control. Was it because the stupid exorcists hurt her Allen? Of course, she's mad. They did hurt the poor teen really, really, bad.

"Oh. What are you doing here, Road?" She jumped a little but from the sudden voice. She turned her head and found Allen sitting at one of the gazebo, a familiar golem hovering above his head. His hands tapping anxiously on the wooden table as he saw Road stomp on the beautiful flowers.

"Allen~" Road greeted and sat above the wooden table, peeking curiously at the bored looking teen. He gave her a small smile in return, it was just then Road noticed a black cat- Lulubell besides Allen.

She giggled "Oh! Hello, Lulubell!" she jumped down the table and kneeled down over Lulubell.

"So~ what are you two talking about?" Road's tone changed into something dark.

Lulubell purred before talking "Allen apologized." She said simply, making Road frown "Was it because of Mimi?" she asked. Sometimes it's kind of strange that even Lulubell would care for a level 2 akuma, their just tools after all. It's not like their death wouldn't mean anything.

Allen nodded numbly and his brow furrowed "I-I'm really sorry, Lulubell. You looked so sad back then… I just couldn't…" he was cut off when Road wrapped her arms around him "That was from the past! We shouldn't dwell on negative things!"

Of course, it was from the past.

-O-O-O-

Lenalee gasped when Kanda slammed his fist angrily on Komui's table "So, you let that stupid bean sprout get captured?" his eyes was fierce as he glared at the supervisor. Komui looked calm and composed as he took a sip from his coffee "We didn't let him get captured. If we focused our attention on him, more exorcists and finders will die." His words were cold and his glasses glints under the room's dim light.

"Are you stupid?!" Kanda yelled "If you let him get captured, he'll transform into a Noah, stupid four eyes!"

Komui knew. Of course he knew. He knew that Allen Walker's transformation into a Noah will be much faster if he's with the Noah family… but he couldn't save one life for sake of hundreds. If he did then they'll fight a losing battle. It can be turned around too… if Allen was with the Noah, he'll be death himself. Komui Lee trusted him and he knew that he wouldn't give up so easily.

"I know!" he replied his voice louder and clearer making the Japanese exorcist close his mouth and his shoulder slump down. The pain of seeing one of your family member vanish right before your eyes is the worst, and he was just right there and the next second he's gone. He saw his beloved sister's horrified face and it was the worst. He hated it most when his sister's in pain.

"…Then let's find him" Lenalee muttered in a small voice, her hands clutched over her chest as she tries to calm her beating heart. Komui gave his sister a surprised look "Y-you can't, it's dangerous." He stood up from his chair and walked over to his sister "Think about it, Lenalee. We can't do it right now, not if all of you are still injured."

He has to do it.

He can't let a precious person slip out of their hands.

He took a deep breath in "I'll give you 3 days to search for him, that's as much as I can give you. If he's not found go back here immediately."

He tried to sound as cold and as serious as possible… so that for once. Just this once. They won't do anything stupid.

-O-O-O-O-O-

"Allen, your transformation might start again today." Road said with a smile "It might be the last stage." She brushed her fingers at the stigma that was marked on Allen's forehead. He nodded "I know. I can feel it." His voice was low as he sat on his bed.

Noah transformations can last for days, he knew that it's going to be more painful than before. He already felt it once, after all. The pain of your skin burning, the stigmata carving itself on your head and the sting that fill's your mouth once your body adjusts itself from the changes. But that's not the worst thing… it's the pain in your heart. The heaviness and emotions that fills you once you became a Noah.

It's hatred against humanity and their fake god.

Even now, Allen could feel it. The hatred bubbling in his core, the despair that he once suffered… It was suffocating.

"D-Do I have to wait?" he asked nervously making Road laugh "What?" she asked with a huge smile on her face and jumped on Allen's bed, startling the white haired teen. Allen frowned "I- mean… Do I have to wait for the transformation?"

Road sputtered out a laugh "O-of course!" she crawled over and sat beside Allen "You know… Millenie was really happy when you accepted his invitation." She smiles. The whole family was surprised when the news spread but none of them actually cared that he's an exorcist. Family is family and nothing could change even if he was an enemy and he betrayed them in the past. As long as the family is complete, they're happy.

"Huh? Really?" Allen looked at Road with disbelieving eyes, the dark skinned girl just nodded and response "I thought that… He just wanted me because I'm Neah's reincarnation" he said sheepishly. Road shook her head "Being a Noah isn't like that!" her voice became much louder and Allen could see something flicker in her gold eyes "Getting our past memories isn't what you exorcist thought about. It's more of like a vivid dream. We just need to remember the past so that we wouldn't be as confused when we awaken."

Allen's ears perked as he listened more to Road's words "We are all different individuals. Each Noah has their own personality and their own mindset. I t's our own will to follow The Earl because we believe in his goals. We don't get consumed by our past memories… that'll be impossible… because they are just memories and what happened in the past has already happened. There's no changing it… so please Allen don't think of your family like that. We love each other and we accept who we are." Road ended up catching her breath and Allen could see her eyes water a little bit.

He shook his head, stunned before hugging Road "I-I'm sorry…" he tightened his hug and brushed Road's hair gently "I'm confused… I'm just really confused…"

"But thank you… thank you very much"

Allen didn't realize that he was now weeping together with the female Noah… and that his skin flickered to grey.

-O-O-O-O-O-O-

"Hmmm… It seems like Allen's final transformation has started."

Wisely turned his head and gave The Earl a grin. The pudgy man was knitting something as he rock back and forth on his chair "Ah! That's great… Although that's probably the most painful part of the transformation." Wisely muttered "I can hear him screaming from here though."

The Earl only laughed at his comment "Pain is unavoidable, my dear child."  
Wisely sighed "I feel really sorry for Allen." The Earl then stopped knitting when Wisely said those words "I mean… All of those awful things those exorcists did to him. It's horrible." He sat back on the soft chair "… It's sad it happened to him before we could even avoid it. That's probably the reason why he's fragile when he first came."

The Earl put down the knitted blanket on his chair and stood up, tapping his fingers under his chin. He clicked his tongue "But he's still strong, isn't he?" he pats Wisely's head.

"Please avoid getting into someone's head, Wisely. It's very rude of you to invade someone's privacy and I was hoping Allen would open up to me." He faked a sob and made the young Noah frown "Jeez… I was just trying to help! I'm just making sure no bad thing will happen…"

"So?" The Earl asked, earning a laugh from the shorter boy "He won't betray you." Wisely winked and stood up from his chair before walking over to The Earl.

"That's good!"

 **END**

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE**

 **Sorry for the short chapter. I got really busy this week and I really have no time to update but I I'll try my best to make longer chapters and update on schedule. I checked the last two chapters and saw lots of mistakes but I don't think I'll edit them when the story is still unfinished.**

 **What do you guys think of this chapter?**

 **Please Review! Also thanks for those who reviewed!**

 **Bye everyone!**


	4. Chapter 4

**four**

Road Kamelot sat calmly on a chair beside Allen's bed, a red lollipop in her mouth as she stares at Allen. The white haired teen was screaming and kicking on his bed, Tyki holding his arms up. When the transformation started Allen immediately started scratching his stigma, strong enough to draw out blood. Tyki might have heard Road's panicking and came dashing to help the boy.

Road doesn't remember how painful it was but she can still remember that she tried to jump off the window, thinking that she got really, really sick. How foolish of her.

"H-Hey! Damn it, Allen." Tyki winced when Allen's foot hit his stomach making Road grin at him, Tyki just glared at her in response. Road jumped out of the chair and placed her fingers at the side of Allen's cheeks, feeling the warm blood on that trails across his face.

"He dug his nails too deep. There's a gash on his forehead" Road frowned but she licked the liquid on her hand, Tyki made a face before replying "That can't be helped. Don't worry about it, it'll heal instantly later." He tightened his grip on Allen's wrist because Allen started twisting in pain.

Road let out a whine "Why is it taking so long?" she pouted and crossed her arms, puffing out her cheeks. Tyki chuckled "It hasn't been an hour, Road. My final transformation lasted the whole night." He shivered when he remembered the pain across his skin "It depends on the Noah… I guess."

Road fumed and sank back to her chair "Mine didn't take that long." She said firmly. Tyki blinked for a few seconds and laughed "Well- good for you."

"Ug- Tyki…"

Tyki jumped when he heard Allen talk, he immediately let go of Allen's hands "Is it done?" he asked. Allen didn't say anything for a while and shifted a little bit on his bed "…No… it d-doesn't hurt that much anymore. I can bear with it." He managed and smile but winced when he felt the pain flaring on his body once more.

His body twitched uncontrollably and he could feel his veins burning, like acid. Blood poured out of his mouth and his fingers suddenly clutched his blankets. As he writhed in pain.

His head swayed and his vision started to blur… the last thing he saw was the blurred faces of Tyki and Road.

-O-O-O-O-O-O-

Lenalee's boots clicked on the ground as she walked to the train station, Lavi and Kanda trailing behind her "Slow down, Lenalee!" Lavi called after her. Lenalee was asking people around if they saw Allen and all they got was 'No' he doesn't even know how many people they asked anymore. Before he could catch up with Lenalee- something exploded.

He whipped his head and saw Kanda holding his Mugen tightly and Lenalee letting out a gasp. An akuma appeared in front of them, it was tall and has a strange humanoid look. Its skin burning red and its arms was too long for his whole body. Based on the appearance the akuma is just a level 2.

"Exorcist~" the akuma's voice was raspy and dry, it made him wince just by hearing it. He activated his hammer and charged, pure adrenaline rushing through him. The whole fight a blur, it happened so fast and it ended up with the akuma exploding and letting out a loud scream.

"That wasn't even a fight." He heard Kanda say as the Japanese man wiped the dust off from his shoulder. Lavi let out a relieved sigh, it's not like he was nervous back then… it was just the thoughts that was filling his mind. He's just confused.

At the time when the Noah came, he's pretty sure he saw them talking to Allen. He saw Road's smile get wider when Allen said something. He saw Allen wrapping his arms around Road. It might have been his imagination because he saw Allen struggle when Road pushed him through her door. He couldn't get an answer.

"Y-Yeah. I really thought it would something scarier." He let out a forced laugh and looked over Lenalee "Hey! You okay?!" he asked. Lenalee nodded in response and walked back to her comrades with a determined gleam in her eyes.

"Maybe we should find a place to sleep. I'm exhausted." Lavi said grinning. He tried to shake off the negative feeling away because he knew it wouldn't help them. Lenalee smiled "I know a good place!" she exclaimed, Lavi then started sharing his excitement with the girl.

They have to rest tonight and tomorrow would be a much tiring day. They are going to find Allen, no matter what it takes. Even if they only have a few days, they will still try to find their precious friend. He then proceeded to sling his arms around Lenalee and Kanda, startling him "What do you think you're doing, stupid rabbit?"

"Oh come on, Yu."

"Don't call me that."

He let out a laugh, Lenalee joining in. They'll find Allen. That's for sure.

O-O-O-O-O-O-

Allen woke up feeling tired despite sleeping for so long. It was night time now so he probably slept for the whole day.

He's a Noah now.

He raised his arm and noticed that it was a dark shade, he narrowed his eyes and sighed "I have to get used to this." He muttered. The pain on his forehead was gone, the wounds have already healed and the stigma were just raised marks on his skin.

The last part of the transformation was one of the most painful thing he ever felt. Good thing that it will only happen once. He touched his innocence, he couldn't move it and it still stings like hell. He frowned and looked at it for a few seconds "Road was right. Maybe I should cut it off."

He stood up from his bed and noticed that Road was sleeping on a chair… and Tyki on the floor. He snickered and pats Road's head "Hey." Road stirred and mumbled something before her eyes fluttered open "A-Allen?"

"Good morning, Road." He smiled. Road seems to be confused before she let out a delighted squeal "Allen!" she jumped and wrapped her arms around the new Noah. Tyki jumped at the sudden noise "W-what the hell, Road?" he growled, rubbing his ears obviously annoyed.

Tyki then looked at Allen with wide eyes "Ah! It's finished." He stood up from the floor with a wide grin on his face.

Then the doors slammed open. Allen turned his head to find The Earl standing right in front of his door way and behind him was the whole Noah family, Allen recognized each one of them. Road let go of Allen before running towards Sheryl "Daddy!"

Tyki also walked behind Road and now he was left alone, awkwardly staring at the group of people in front of him. He gulped.

He was standing right in front of the people that _he_ once betrayed. How could _he_? Why would _he_ betray his own family?

"Welcome back, my dear 14th."

The Earl spread his arms wide and Allen's heart exploded. He ran towards The Earl and wrapped his arms around the fat man "I'm back. I'm finally back."

Warm feelings filled his heart, seeing all of them smiling at him. And they were real smiles that he hasn't seen for a very long time.

"Allen? Are you crying?"

Allen then noticed that tears were falling down his eyes like waterfalls "Y-yeah... I guess so." He pulled back from the hug, wiping the tears away from his eyes. He didn't know why he started crying but it was probably his Noah…

His Noah was happy to go back to his family. The people whom he was destined to be with. He then realized that this was his destiny, the path that he was supposed to take, and the path that he once tried to escape. He was once foolish and blind but now he wouldn't carry the burden of being an exorcist. He's a Noah now, a disciple of the true God. He will now carry the will of his family.

As the 14th Noah.

"Come along now, Allen. Dinner will be in an hour."

Allen nodded "… Yeah. I'll get ready soon." They all walked out of his room one by one. Greeting Allen, patting him in the back… and the twins pestering him before The Earl pulled them out of his room. Road was the last one to leave, waving back at him before the doors closed and he was left standing with a warm smile on his face.

"Master Noah, we have prepared the bath for you."

Allen turned around to see an akuma bowing her head down at him, he nodded his head and walked towards the door on the other side of the room. He opened it slowly and looked at the mirror his skin was darkened ash, clashing with his pure hair, his eyes were the same golden amber he had a few days ago. The stigma on his head were pure black, overlapping the red pentacle on the side of his head "Well… that doesn't look appealing" Allen commented with a frown on his face.

He immediately removed his shirt and threw it on the ground, as it was filled with his own dried blood. The wounds he had from the Order was gone, not even a single scar remained on his skin but his innocence remained the same.

This damned innocence.

This stupid, useless arm that he can't even use anymore and it won't even move a single inch. His blood boiled and dark matter glowed at the tip of his fingers as it slowly turns into a sharp edged claws, he raised his arm to cut the useless arm that hindered him from-

He stopped. What was he doing? Will he really cut his own arm?

It wouldn't be really painful to cut it off, it'll just heal immediately and the hole on his heart will be healed too. But he still can't. He's still Allen Walker. He doesn't want to change that, he still has something to prove to the exorcists after all.

He sighs as the dark matter on his hands slowly faded and he walked to the tub to take a bath. The water was warmer than he thought it would be but how long has it been anyways? He stinks of dried blood. When his hair dipped in water, blood already started coming off his hair.

"This is going to take a lot of time to remove, won't it?"

When he finished taking a bath he wore the clothes that was neatly folded on a table beside the sink. A frown appeared on his face when he saw a note with Road's small doodle on it saying " _It'll look cute on you_ " a huge heart on the end.

It was a simple, dress shirt and pants with a black vest and a murky purple western bow tie. He brushed his hair with his fingers afterwards and walked out of the bathroom.

He was surprised when he saw the maid akum still waiting for him outside the door. He handed her his old blood stained clothes and whispered to her "Burn it. Make sure you won't leave a single trace of it." He was sure he saw the akuma flinch but he shook it off as the akuma scurried out to leave his room, giving him a small bow before leaving.

He took the black dress shoes beside his bed and wore it, there is also a white gloves neatly placed on his bed and he was grateful that it was there. He doesn't like showing his innocence anymore… mostly on an important event.

"Well it's time to get going."

-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-

As soon as he walked in the dining room, Road jumped on him causing him to lose his balance a little bit "Ah! You look to cute, Allen~" she wrapped his arm around the new Noah. And Allen could swear he could already feel a murderous aura around him.

"Allen, sit beside me."

Road frowned when Tyki patted the empty chair beside him "Huh? But Allen's sitting with me!" she whined and dragged Allen to her chair "Road… there's no space." He pats the shorter girl's head before walking to sit beside Tyki. The dining table was almost filled with so much food and Allen could feel his stomach rumble.

Well… he hasn't eaten in a while.

"I have gathered you all here today as a celebration! The 14th Noah is finally with us."  
The Earl cheered and it Allen could feel blood rushing through his cheeks, Tyki pushed him up off his chair so he stood up in front of everyone. He looked around the room and noticed all eyes were at him, eagerly waiting for him to do something "Do you have anything to say, Allen?" The Earl asked as he sat back down on his chair.

Allen took a deep breath in, his heart hammering inside his chest. He glanced at Road who gave him a reassuring smile and a small thumbs up… the room was silent awaiting for him to break it.

It's now or never.

He bowed politely in front of everyone, his hand on his chest and he managed a warm smile "Allen Walker. It's a pleasure to meet you all." He sat back on his chair and everyone applauded their hands. He sighed in relied and sank back on his chair, it wasn't that bad. He heard Tyki chuckle beside him but he didn't have the time to ask the adult why.

The Earl has already started talking and the plan is already revealed. He'll be receiving his mission soon enough and he hoped it wouldn't be related with the exorcist. Not for a while though.

"Now that we are all seated, let's start with the missions." The Earl made a fake cough and started to eat his dinner. Everyone joined in too and Allen's heart jumped in happiness when he took the first bite of his meal.

"There's been a few rumors about a witch in Spain, so I sent my akuma to observe and they confirmed that there's innocence. Tyki, you'll be assigned here, bring Wisely with you."

At first Allen saw Tyki's face light up but it darkened when he heard that Wisely is coming with him, he let out a groan "Yeah, Yeah. I'll get it done."

"Allen, I'm pretty sure you don't want to do those kinds of mission yet. Am I right?"

Allen nodded in response but still continued eating his meal he received a pat on the back from Tyki after that.

"Then you'll help me make akuma! That's easy enough."

Allen's blood ran cold and he almost choked on his food… make akuma? He knows that his cursed eyes won't activate anymore but he still knows the suffering of souls when they became an akuma. He coughed loudly and turned to the Earl, his brows furrowed in confusion "What?"

"Road will come with you! Oh, Lero too!"

The Earl completely ignored his question and continued assigning tasks to the other family members.

It's not like it'll be that bad, right?

 **END**

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE**

 **And another late update from me! This time I have no excuses. I'll talk about this chapter now, Allen's transformation took about a day and a half to be finished. What could the exorcist be doing? They only have limited time left. About Allen cutting off his innocence… he cannot deny the fact that he still cares about his exorcist friends… but that'll change soon ;)**

 **That's it everyone!**

 **I really like reading reviews so please don't be shy to drop one it gives me the motivation to update. So please review!**

 **Next Chapter: Allen's first mission.**


	5. Chapter 5

**five**

"Do you want her back?"

Ana froze when she heard a sudden voice behind her. She whipped her head to find a smiling teen behind her, his hair pure white like his skin… she blinked for a few seconds and found the courage to ask.

"…Are you an angel?"

Her voice was raspy and shaky, realizing that she cried the whole night, the amount of alcohol she drank and the ashy taste of cigarette in her mouth. She wipe the dried tears off her cheeks and pulled back her messy red hair away from her eyes.

The man… The angel was asking her if she wants her beloved sister back. But… that's impossible isn't it? She sat beside the grave of her little sister who died weeks ago. How can he still bring her back?

The teen let out a soft laugh, his voice warm and angelic like a sweet child's then he spoke in the kindest tone "It depends." His reply was simple as he kneeled down beside her. Holding out his gloved hand to her.

Her heart twisted into knots as she dropped the bottle of alcohol out of her hand, spilling a small amount of liquid unto her blue dress.

"C-can you really bring her back?" she asked. The smile on the stranger's face widened "Of course." She took his hand as he helped her up to her feet. Stumbling a little but, when her heels clicked on the grassy ground.

Is she really going to have her sister back?

Lilia will… will come back to her?

She didn't deserve to die, she didn't deserve to get sick and experience the worst pain before she drew her last breath. She was sweet and kind. Too young.

"I'm going to need you to do something first."

Her heart shattered into pieces. All hope of her sister's return was sucked back to oblivion. She doesn't have anything left from her possessions, not even a single cent left on her palms as it was all gone to pay for her sister's bills.

"I…I don't have any money."

Her words seemed to make him laugh lightly "No. I don't need you to pay for anything."

Suddenly a framed, metal skeleton appeared at his side. His fingers traced over the cool metal gently, his eyes trailed across the metal as if he's in trance. His expression almost blank except for the small, empty smile that was etched across his lips.

That moment she saw something wrong. Her guts twisted with a strange feeling, screaming at her to run away, for her to refuse the offer. But at the same time she was frozen on her place, forcing her to not move a single inch.

"Call your sister and she'll be back."

His tone didn't sound convincing anymore… it's as if he was begging her, forcing her to do his bidding. A dark aura emitting from him. She shivered and glanced back her sister's gave "…No… something's wrong…"

Her head spun with fear or probably she was still drunk… The teen's expression changed and for a flash he saw him looked relieved but it suddenly changed into disbelief "Pardon me?" his fists curled into a ball. Ana shook her head rapidly "You're not an angel." She took a step back away from the white haired teen.

He let out a forced laugh "It really depends on what you think of me."

There is an empty space between them and the cold skeleton standing blankly beside him.

"Are you sure? Do you really not want her back?"

She shook her head "I-It's not like that." Another step back, her shoes hit the empty bottles of beer beside her.

"You're a really bad liar, dear miss." His smile twitched and he took another step forward, holding out his hands "Come on. You want her back, just call for her."

Ana gulped. She really did want her back. She really did. Then why can't she-

"Lilia."

Her voice wasn't loud but she saw something flash beside the skeleton. Then it moved, like a limp puppet with strings, her eyes lit up with joy. Is this real? Is her sister returning back to life?

"A-Ana."

It is Lilia. Her voice sounded as sweet as ever.

"Ana. Sister, why? How could you? You turned me into an akuma!"

"W-What? No. I-I didn't…"

Then she saw how the teen's skin turned into the colored of burned ash, how his eyes turned into molten gold and how crosses marked its way into his forehead. How twisted his smile is.

"My dear akuma. Kill her and wear her skin."

Her blood ran cold… kill her? There's no way that Lilia would do that.

"A-Ana… You made me do this…"  
The skeleton walked fast and made a disgusting popping sound every time it moves.

"Lilia…What are you-"

The last thing she saw was the horrifying face of the metal skeleton before pain filled her senses.

-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

"Allen… Are you okay?"

Road frowned as her dear Allen vomited on the ground, tears in his eyes and he wrapped her arms around her. Sobbing and shaking his head "I don't want to do this…" He cried.

Allen saw it, the way a soul is being pulled away from eternal peace only to be put into a damned machine. She was a little child. A small child being tormented to fuel a… a monster.

He can feel her despair, how he gave her false hopes. And it hurts. He did try to scare her, make her realize that bringing a dead back to life is impossible but even if she did refuse him… Road will kill her for knowing too much.

"Its okay, Allen. You can do better next time."

Road's tone was comforting as she rubbed his back soothingly. Allen pulled back from the hug and gave Road a confused look "I…I… don't want…" He stopped when Road's hands wiped the small drop of blood on his face, probably when the akuma killed the woman.

"That akuma made a mess. Stupid machine." Allen noticed how something glints at the back of Road's golden eyes. Allen looked around the place, scrunching his nose when he saw the lit cigarettes scattered on the ground, wiping the tears off his eyes and he mustered up the courage to smile "Don't b-be like that, Road."

He doesn't want Road to destroy the newly born akuma… it would be better if the exorcists were the one who's going to destroy the akuma. At the very least they can get peace.

Exorcists.

He did miss his friends, he missed the noisy mornings he had with them. If only fate didn't force this path upon him, if only he could erase all of those horrible things the order did to him. He already knew the dark secrets the order were hiding from all of those exorcists. The exorcists weren't wrong, they weren't enemies… their innocence just forced them to walk the path of destroying Akuma and Noah. They are alike, their fate forced upon them with no way of choosing a side.

He was meant to be a Noah.

Why would he even try to be someone else? Try to be someone that he's not?

He took a deep breath to calm himself down, his gloved hand brushed his white hair behind his ears. This isn't the time to be scared. This isn't the time to slack off.

A war is brewing.

He already knew what side he is on. Even if a part of him still rejects it.

"Oh. You are actually wearing all white today, Allen."

Allen looked at Road before chuckling and replying in a light tone.

"Aren't angels meant to wear white?"  
-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Lenalee dropped her suitcase on the cold, concrete floor of the headquarters, tears flowing down her eyes as he embraced her brother who was patiently waiting for her. She sniffled when Komui pats her head lovingly with a warm smile still plastered on her face "Welcome back, Lenalee." His voice was soft as he noticed that there were tears in her eyes too.

Kanda and Lavi came afterwards, disappointment among their faces as they stepped into the metal doors. They weren't too injured as only a few bandages were wrapped on their arms and cheeks, no fatal injuries only bruises and cuts. Which is a good thing.

Komui gave the two a welcoming smile, his little sister still sniffling in his arms.

"How was the mission?" he asked, his tone stern as he pulled back from Lenalee's hug, giving his sister a reassuring smile. Lavi flinched as he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly "There's been a lot of akuma… they are all just level ones and two. Nothing that dangerous."

Komui let out a relieved sigh "Any Noah sightings?"

That's when the three of them froze and that's the time Komui realized that something is really, really wrong. Theories and guesses flashed in his mind and he wished they weren't right. He's wishing he's wrong… Lord God, please.

"…No… which is really strange. They probably know that we're looking for Allen." Lavi's eyes turned serious and the way he looked at Komui was cold and analyzing. He was waiting for an answer, for Komui to confirm something…

Komui gulped, a drop of sweat trickled down his forehead "I'm not going to lie here… chances are the 14th has already taken over." He winced when Lenalee and Kanda glanced forcefully to his direction.

Lavi remained the same.

Cold and emotionless as he process whatever the scientist said.

"What are you talking about, stupid four eyes?"

Kanda glared at him with the same fierce eyes but he saw something swirling behind his eyes, sadness. Of course. The grief of losing someone very important.

"Allen wouldn't do that. We trust him." Lenalee's voice cracked as he wiped the tears of her cheeks, looking over his brother.

"I know, Lena. I know."

Komui hoped that he would be wrong, that the sudden answers that filled in the blanks were wrong. How he wished to just see his sister smiling with all of her beloved friends… just for once.

But everything just made sense.

That Allen Walker isn't an exorcist anymore. After all, it's been a pretty long time since his disappearance.

That there are no Noah sightings because they are obviously doing something very important. Not like making chaos and havocs or destroying exorcists' lives and innocence… something's more important- no someone is more important than that.

 _A family member._

They are doing something with a family member. He hoped that it isn't Allen.

But that's just wishful thinking, isn't it?

"Then stop thinking like it's the end of the world." Kanda growled and left fuming which made the trio laugh.

"Ah. Kanda will always be Kanda."

Lavi smiles and pats the two siblings at the back before running after Kanda with a goofy smile on his face… as if he didn't made _that_ expression.

Komui straightened his back and took a deep breath. He has to be strong, to be a symbol of happiness to her sister so that she wouldn't have to sad anymore. He faced her and wrapped his arm on her shoulders before smiling-

"You go have dinner with them, okay?"

 **END**

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE**

 **Hi everyone! I'm sorry for the short chapter, there really isn't something to it. Just a filler chapter and some clarifications so that some of you wouldn't be confused lol. I also tried to make Allen's first mission kind of dark-ish but nope. It got really boring and I'm not motivated to write a detailed story. But at least it's something.**

 **I really love the idea of a loving and kind exorcists (with some dark secrets)**

 **I promise to make the next chapter more fun to read!**

 **Next Chapter: 3 months later… Allen meets his beloved friends. Too bad some exorcists aren't really his friends anymore.**

 **Please review and follow. I really love reading your reviews!**

 **Please tell me what you think or what I should fix. It gives me motivation to update. That's it everyone! Thanks for reading and see you next chapter..?**


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